So, it’s happened – i weed on that little stick that i sheepishly bought from Woolies, along with my Tina Wafer biscuits and a box of nappies for Billy. The stick told me, without speaking, that I am growing another human….
It was a box of 3.
The first one came out a one liner (that’s speak for: you know you’re pregnant, your body is aching, you are super exhausted, you can smell the Day Care Teacher’s Pantene Pro-V shampoo from 3 classes over, it’s a sure thing BUT, it’s too early for the wee stick to bring that second line up and make it official).
The second test I tried was a couple of weeks after, i was definite that i was up the duff. Along with all the other symptoms, i now had been able to smell the awful strawberry scented hand soap in the lady’s toilet at work, which i all but banned the last time around. So i got another stick out, ready for a positive read. Started weeing (with much relief i might add), poked the stick into ‘stream’ (as described on instruction box), only to realise i hadn’t actually got any wee on the stick (or at least, i pulled the stick away too quickly because instead, i pissed on my hand and was grossed out by it all), by the time i realised what i had done, I had all but finished and had nothing left to piss out…. then i was like “well, did i actually get any on it? Can i just re-use it later?”.
Note: I went back to it later (after carefully putting it back in the wrapper), and it read NEGATIVE. I knew it was lying.
Then not 2 days later i went round 3. The final one (i know there are more at the shop but I was treating this bad boy like it was the last one on the planet). I only had to look at it and it came at me with aggressive double line action and it confirmed everything…..
I AM A SURE THING…. My chances of parading my Victoria Secret Model Body down the catwalk will go on hold again for yet another year (what’s another year after 33), and I will have to dig out my elastic wasted pants again (after only just putting them away)….
It’s hard to know how far along i am exactly, all i know is – it’s happened, we decided we would try again and BOOM double lines all over the shop!