The HOOVER DEMON

The dreams, the craaazzy dreams have started.

It started with me going for a casual visit to Puff-Daddy’s (you know, Puff Daddy or P. Diddy or Diddy… you know – sean combs – that guy) house like it was just an every day occurrence, except i was standing at the front gate of his house looking in (it was weird)…. we were definitely friends…. sure… Anyway, I want to say he sang me that ‘I’ll be missing you’ song (only because I like it, and it’s basically the only song that comes to mind when i think of that guy – and it doesn’t happen a lot, i might add), but the dream was gone before we got into the white unbuttoned shirts and beautiful harmonies.

There have been a few other remarkably unremarkable numbers that have popped up in my sleep, but the ones that are getting to me lately are the ones I am waking Jamie up for, and he’s non too impressed to say the least.

SO, the only way to describe it is like a standard everyday run of the mill vacuum cleaner, coming in to attack me in the room.  The first night i told it “get the fuck away from me”, i don’t know if it was me or if it was Jamie who scared it off when he asked me what i was talking about – either way, it found it’s place and got out of our room quick smart (ie. i woke up) and we both went back to a peaceful sleep.

The next night though, the hoover demon (as it will be now known), was on Jim’s side of the bed, standing in full, about 6 foot tall, with full horns (all shadowed for effect of course), with it’s vacuum cleaner torso…. standing there all high and mighty, holding it’s vacuum pipe like it was a bloody scythe (I had to google “what does the grim reaper carry” for the name of that btw)…. Anyway, this cocky demon was not getting away this time, not when he goes to my man’s side of the bed – whoa – who does he think he’s messing with ….. Jamie will tell him (me) what for…..

So i woke Jamie from his sleep, his deep sleep…. to tell him …. tell him what exactly? Yep, you guessed it – that it’s not going away…. who or what, you ask (so did Jamie)?… the thing…. What thing? …. “FUCK I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT, I CAN SEE IT, IT’S JUST THERE!!!” – that got his attention…. He sat up for that one…. Turns out he couldn’t see the Demon Hoover / Curtain Shadow thing, what ever you want to call it…. and asked me not to wake him up again…. right…. I’ll fight this shit on my own then.

I’ve gone out and bought some mace and a rape whistle for the next time ol’ Mr Hoover Demon want’s to mess with me…..

 

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