Indents of life

In this week’s one-way discussion forum (that being – me ranting at you), I’d like to raise the topic of indents.

As is part of being a baby carrier indentation is a common thing.

  1. The indent my bra makes under my ever growing massive cans (and I’ve already used a bra extender – time for ugly pregnancy bras);
  2. The indent my pants make when they burst against my skin under serious pressure (bring on the elastics);
  3. More importantly though, the indents my socks have begun to make at the end of the day…..

This leads me to my next topic – KANKLES…. They are coming….. OH GOD THEY ARE COMING!!!

I noticed a familiar tingle in my feet at the end of a few long days last week and I immediately recognized the root cause.  It’s time to turn this blog into a diary of my ankles people.  I’m sorry, it was bound to happen, I just didn’t think it would happen so soon…..

To date, I have not captured any progress pregnancy gut shots, I guess I should start on this – if this new kid wants to go through photos of “when Mummy was pregnant with me” I would hate to see the disappointment that Billy had about 6 photos, and s/he had none.  I could always do what our Mum did to us when we asked for baby photos – just show the same photo of my eldest bro as a baby and pray she wouldn’t be questioned.  Of course, she had a great come back when I said “but Mum, I wasn’t born in 1975” she said “oh love, you all looked the same”, bless you Mum! I love that I get half of my personality from you.  Anyway, time to start cleaning my bedroom for these selfies of my expanding gut – the bedroom is the only full length mirror in the house, which of course reflects the always untidy state of the room.  I would get Jim to take it but he is a man who lacks the patience of a woman needing the perfect shot – he will take 1 photo and I’ve got to hope to the gods that it’s perfect because he would have already moved onto the next thing and would not tolerate such things as ‘getting it right’. The things we do for the future of our kids hey… pffft.

In saying all this, after said feet tingles and obvious aggressive sock indents last week, I pulled the iphone close and captured some early stage kankle shots….  It’s important to capture the growth, someone one day might do a research paper on Kankles and knowing from my past experience of having pregnant feet that should have belonged to a 400kg bedridden woman, I will be the perfect subject matter….

Highlights to note this week: it was my handsome husband’s birthday and we got to have a slumber party at Jupiter’s (sorry, ‘The Ville’ – I spew in my mouth every time I have to say it).  HORRAY for uninterrupted sleep! HORRAY for a bath big enough to house my body! Jamie wanted to get in it with me, no mate, this is me spreading out…. Wait your turn!  And we got to go to nice places and not have to entertain the 1 year old terrorist (the kindest, cutest terrorist one ever did meet by the way).  It was so so nice!

Low light was waking up at about 11pm to Baby Bill power spewing his dinner (which had Parmesan cheese in it – so just get a nose full of smell in your imagination – it puts a whole new light on the name ‘spew cheese’) all over me – I was happy to catch it with my body, at least throwing a robe in the wash is easier than ripping sheets off the bed or trying to get the smell out of carpet…..  so I spent the following day on the couch underneath him – too scared to wake and disturb him.  I am glad he got to have a rest, but 30 mins into said rest (that went for about 3.5hours) I was busting for a piss, the phone and tv control was on the opposite side of the room and he was most comfortable in a position that had me most uncomfortable…. As I said, anything for the kids!!!!

Another not amazing thing happening to my body is that I am only 17 weeks into this ‘journey’, and although this tiny human is supposed to be about as big as a pomegranate, it actually is feeling (quite seriously) the size of a fkg watermelon…. only 17 weeks in – quick math equation 40 weeks – 17 weeks = 23 weeks left…. FAR OUT I am actually fearful that this human is going to feel like a medium to large size boulder …. I’m struggling already.

Anyway that’s enough for this week.

Give my kid a high-five while you’re at it. 17


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